Journey of the non poke-maniac
by Sparky Nekomi
Summary: A very sarcastic story about a very misunderstood girl who ends up as a pokemon trainer. each chapter is very short and this is rated PG for mild language.
1. A Little About Me...

A little about me  
My morning started easily enough. Nothing to do today, just laze around the house and watch television. Nope. No big plans here. I went downstairs. Where my mom was sitting at the kitchen table reading the paper. OK, walk quickly and silently and she wont see you. Moms are weird, they sense fear in their children. I don't even know what I did wrong but she's been disturbingly on the edge lately. Yes! I made it to the kitchen unharmed. Lucky, moms attitude hasn't changed the food she buys. I grab a couple slices of cold pizza and a coke, my breakfast. (I'm such a health nut) I attempt to make it back past mom but the smell of cold tomato sauce, cheese, and pepperoni is too strong.   
"Ashley?"  
"I didn't do it!"  
"I never said you did."  
"oh, disregard that last comment then!"  
Mom gave me the look. Uh oh. Think fast. I think coffee is the source of her power.  
She smiled "I got you a present!"  
"huh?"  
My mom handed me a cell phone.  
"oh."  
I admit I really sounded too un-enthused, I had been begging for a cell phone for months. This was just too un-expected, there had to be a catch.   
"Oh and by the way, Prof. Elm wanted to talk to you."  
That was the catch. It had to be. It involved Pokemon. I don't like Pokemon, by nature, I'm very timid. I think there is a lot of misconception about this though. Misconception A: Pokemon Talk Daily comes on at the same time as ER. Everyday at that time I run up to my room to watch it. Everyone thinks I'm running up to watch Pokemon Talk Daily. Misconception B: I admit I occasionally watch Pokemon battles. This is usually because nothing else is on. Pokemon just annoy me! Sorry but they do! Our area is littered with Sentrets! (I looked them up in a book! Their name I mean) I hate the little guys, they attack our garbage cans at night and I have to pick it all up!   
Mom wakes me from my trance. "You better hurry! It sounded urgent!"  
I'll just walk slowly. Too bad Prof. Elm's lab is right by our house. Darn.  
  



	2. Cyndaquil, Totodile, and Chikorita?

Cyndaquil, Totodile, and Chikorita?  
I looked up at the building, just remembering I never ate my pizza. Hungry. Never the less I walked into the building. Laboratories scare me. Too many sharp objects and dead things. I was actually really surprised to see that this lab was not like that. It was loaded with books and machines. Even worse. Mr. Elm (I refuse to call him Prof., I think he's a loony) called me back. Uh oh. Pokeballs. Acting ditsy in 3, 2, 1.   
"Your probably wonder why I wanted to talk with you."  
"um ya."  
"I want you to do me a favor"  
Wait, that means work. Just nod head politely.  
"I want you to go find a friend of mine, he has an egg I want to look at."  
Great, I'm being used as a messenger sent to go and fetch a pre-omelet, and I had such a good day planned too...  
"Now," he continued "You will need a Pokemon to protect you when you travel in the long grass..."  
Ahhhhhhhh! Not responsibility! Anything but that! I have enough problems taking care of myself let alone a Pokemon. I am having a real bad day.  
Mr. Elm didn't seem to seem to notice my arousal, I must study him further. "Now, I have chosen three Pokemon here that you can take."  
I looked at the Pokeballs. Then at Mr. Elm. Then back at the Pokeballs.  
"What am I suppossed to do?"  
"I thought you knew! I'm sorry! Toss the Pokeballs and a Pokemon will come out. I want you to chose one of them."  
Like I could have figured that out. I tossed the Pokeballs and three Pokemon came out! The first one a saw looked like a match. The one right next to it was green and girly. NOPE! I was never into dress up or any of that other girly stuff. Sorry, it looked WAY too feminine. I've been a pyro since age 1. Pokemon can be made out of fire? Cool! I picked it up. This may not be too bad after all.   
"Its name is Cyndaquil." Said Mr. Elm "A fire Pokemon"  
I was about to say I would take it when a little blue thing with fangs tugged on my jeans. I looked disgusted. It wasn't my ideal of cute.  
"Oh" said Mr. Elm as he picked it up "This is Totodile, a water Pokemon."  
The Totodile acted like it really wanted me to take it with me. I almost felt sad for it.   
"I want this one" I said as I held up Cyndaquil.  
"Fine choice! Cyndaquil are very strong in these areas."  
The Totodile looked crushed, even I, the most emotionally challenged person in the world kinda felt sorry for it. As I left I hoped that I wouldn't ever meet Totodile when he was angry. Even I knew Pokemon evolved, and it would probably remember, even through evolution, that I was the one that left it, sad and crushed in a scary Lab. People always tend to remember the bad things about life and I figure Pokemon are the same.  
  



	3. My Secret Power!

My Secret Power!  
I walked home with "The Match", as I decided to call him. Lucky for me he stayed in his pokeball, I heard somewhere that some Pokemon will refuse to stay in their pokeballs. Now I want breakfast. I can smell the cold pizza. Actually I cant, I'm just saying I am for effect. As I walk in the door I see my mom eating my pizza. Oh well, my theory is "Don't get mad, Get even." I walk over to the cabinet and grab a box of the Oreo cookies my mom loves. I think she knows what's coming, my mom has been attempting a diet for the past six years. I sit down at the table facing her, then I proceed to read her the nutrition facts on the side of the box. I'm kind of digging a hole here, every time I do this she wont buy and REAL food for weeks. Oh well, its always worth it.   
I explain to my mom what happened and she is delighted. Figures. I eat a few Oreos and walk out the door.  
"Did Prof. Elm give you a Pokemon?" My mom asked excitedly as I left.  
"Do Sentrets attack our garbage cans every night?"  
My mom is happy, too happy. When I get back I'm stealing her coffee.  
Me and "Match" Head through the long grass leading out of town. One thing that has always bothered me. 'Why does no one ever cut the grass down?' Hell! Give me a weed wacker and I'll GLADLY do it! It would lower the population of Pokemon in our area and may give us more publicity. Still, my mom doesn't trust me with a lawn mower let alone a weed wacker. At least not since the 'Golf Incident'.  
Something moved in front of me. Ahhhhh! Hoot Hoot! The next worst thing to Sentrets. They come around every night and make almost as much noise as the Sentrets. Lucky, this one was asleep. I've always wanted to do this, kick a Pokemon (Preferably a Sentret but a Hoot hoot will work) out of my way. This was the biggest mistake I have ever made. The stupid thing woke up! I cant believe this! I thought these things were supposed to sleep all day every day and only come out at night when other (more superior) creatures were trying to sleep! Nope, it woke up and chased me all the way to the next town. NO, it never did cross my mind that I had small, weird, and flammable with me.   
I rushed into the local Pokemon center. I had been in these places enough. Always full of friendly smiling people and the poor sad inferior battle losers who just lost the battles with the friendly smiling people. Someone noticed me rush in. Damn. I should have tried to not attract attention...  
"Are you alright?" He asked  
I felt like yelling something like: Oh yes! Of COURSE I'm alright! I was just chased here by one of Hell's demons! But no, I'm much too modest for that, plus, I have the ever present fear that I will say that to the wrong person and get the crap beaten out of me. Instead, I say something that is MUCH more embarrassing.  
"I'm okay, I was just attacked by a wild Hoot Hoot."  
The boy looked at me as if to say, You idiot newbie! Hoot Hoots only come out at night! Instead, he decided to be nice about it.  
"Oh, are you okay? Don't you have a Pokemon with you?"  
Damn, he noticed...  
"Yes." I said stupidly. "But um... Match was too weak to battle!"  
That's it Ashley! Lie! Its helped you before!  
The boy seemed to accept this answer and left me alone. Thank God! Oh well. I might as well keep up the act right? I took Match to the desk and set his pokeball on the counter.  
"Oh my poor Pokemon is badly injured!" I cried, being totally over dramatic. "Can you help him please?"  
I'm such a ham.  
  
  



End file.
